Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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