My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
