Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
