guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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