And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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