My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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