Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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