I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
