were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
