You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
