Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
