i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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