and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize