i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
