Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
