Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
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