just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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