i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
two words...techno handjob
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
