It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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