i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
