i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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