please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
