good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
