Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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