So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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