Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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