ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
