All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
