i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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