what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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