I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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