So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
