You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
