Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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