it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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