A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
