I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
