he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
