you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
