The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
