Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
