I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
