i think i have herpe
just one?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
