no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Me too!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
