You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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