Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
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