He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
