): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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