Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
