I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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