They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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