I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize