My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
