Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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