The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
