so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
