I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
