but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
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