you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
