it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
