He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
