you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
