i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
